latest update:

i fell asleep on the couch at 5 or so, woke up at 5:30 to the head doctor telling my parents that my brother would not survive the infection.

there is no word in the dictionary that can describe how i felt...my heart sunk to the ground and i felt HOPELESS. i still do.

i dont know what to think now. just trying SO HARD to give it all to God - seeing what His plans are for Thomas.